If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
