how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
We got so high we made milksteak
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
