Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I am naked and annoyed.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
