i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
