you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
