whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
