When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
