What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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