I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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