so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
