Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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