Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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