You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
