I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
