i need an iv and a liver transplant
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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