Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
