I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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