He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
