just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
