I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
