Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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