We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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