sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
