She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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