Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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