i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
