Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
