hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
only if we run a train.
done.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
