I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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