Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
