That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
