To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
