I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
