Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
