He uses pillows to masturbate.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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