No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
