I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
