3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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