Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
