Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
