I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
