Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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