Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
