At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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