New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
