Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Who died my cat blue again?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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