If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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