I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
