This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
