FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
