Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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